CRASH AND BURN...Jeff fails his Peru driver's license test...

Yes. It's true. But I did pass the psychological and physical parts of the test. It guess knowing the rules of the roads here in Peru is the most important part. Here's the process...

• Step One...You go to a local bank and pay all the fees for the license.
• Step Two...You go to the medical clinic around the corner from the driver's license office.
• Step Three...Fill out some paperwork.
• Step Four....There is a written mental evaluation test...you have to answer questions like "Do you think everybody hates you?" You have to draw a person...mine had clothes and shoes. There is a page of mazes that you have to draw a little line and find your way out of. Then, you have these cards with random shapes drawn on them and you have to draw them exactly like that.
• Step Five...Medical exam...walk a straight line, read the Eye Chart (Spanish alphabet), answer the question..."Can you hear well?" I answered, "Si, amigo." Do you drink a lot? "No, amigo. Soy un misionero bautista.' (No friend, I'm a baptist missionary.)
• Step Six...Wait in the waiting room while they determine whether or not you are crazy.
• Step Seven... They call you to the back and approve you for being able to take the driver's license test. (I don't know what happens if you don't pass the mental exam...I guess you get to drive a taxi.)
• Step Eight...You go to the other side of the building and they take your picture...remember, I haven't taken the test yet...but they took my picture.
• Step Nine...You go in this room with about 20 computers and they tell you to go to one. I sat down at #8 and there was my photo on the screen. The test is in Spanish. You have 40 minutes to answer 40 questions. It only took me about 12 minutes. :-(
• Step Ten...When you have missed 11 questions the screen goes blank and there's a 'You're a LOSER!' message that pops up. That's your cue to get your nalgas out of there.
• Step Eleven...Go outside and buy a copy of the test questions from this shady dude on the street.
• Step Twelve...Study the book and I'll be going back to take the test again...more to come.